Pursuing Joy In A Mental Rut

God's Word for the believer going through languishing

Dearest,

In the early hours of July 5, I read Psalm 6. And as I got to the second verse – “be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing” – a bell rang in my head.

Languishing. Didn’t an article on that word trend a few years ago, at the peak of the pandemic?

I ran a Google search and right there at the top spot was the New York Times article by Adam Grant that my brain had recalled (I had seen the headline on Twitter but did not read the post then). As I read through that article and others on the search results page, it felt like I was looking into a mirror and seeing an image of myself for the past few months.

If you had asked me in May or June, and maybe even before then, “Dunni, how are you, honestly?”, I would have answered, “I feel weary, unmotivated, and stuck. I am not functioning at my full capacity, and it’s affecting my productivity at work. Sometimes, I feel disillusioned, like I am lost at sea and do not know which way to swim to get to safety.”

That morning, I learnt that all these emotions were summed up in the word, “languishing”.

Hmm, Isn’t That Depression?

Following this discovery of a name that described my mental state, I was able to make sense of two events. A week before, someone had made a tweet about feeling exhausted and needing a break, and hordes of people, myself included, could relate to his experience. Then I stumbled on another tweet (which I deduced was a reaction to the original) claiming that many people were depressed, and just didn’t know it.

Around that time, a friend also opened up about her mental health struggles on a phone call. She said, “I am not depressed, but I’m not feeling great.” She went on to describe a state of uncertainty and apathy. For a second, I wondered if she was actually depressed but unwilling to come to terms with it because of the stigma or weight attached to depression.

I know now that both the tweeter and my friend had correctly analysed their feelings. They were not depressed. But they were not thriving either. Like me, they had been languishing.

According to psychologists, languishing and depression share similar symptoms, but they are quite different. While depression is a feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness, often accompanied by thoughts of suicide or death, languishing is a feeling of emptiness, apathy, and stagnation. The former is regarded as a mental health disorder, the latter is not – only a series of negative emotions. However, languishing may be a precursor to depression and even exist alongside it.

This middle ground is where many of us Christians will find ourselves. Because of our faith and hope in Christ, we may not veer into major depression. But we may not be flourishing as we desire, and the reasons will differ from person to person.

In most cases, languishing occurs because of stressful or traumatic conditions. And while mental health experts attribute the recent wave of languishing to the coronavirus pandemic, I identified a different reason for my mental state.

The past two years have been a rollercoaster for me. Between 2020 and 2021, I dealt with the unpleasant implications of an unplanned pregnancy, the rigours of pregnancy and childbirth, and the pain of a broken relationship. Because I was unemployed during my pregnancy, I could not benefit from paid maternity leave. I had no source of income, and I was anxious about my finances. Before my son clocked three months old, I got a new job and was back to the grind. Within a few months, I took on a higher role, which meant new challenges and more responsibilities.

As I balanced work and motherhood with a cheerful disposition, my friends and siblings would express their admiration for my strength and resilience. Once, my younger sister told me that I was doing so well—I had a well-paying job and was thriving at work, coupled with an adorable son and a sturdy support system—and joked that she was envious of me.

But I am not a superwoman. I am only human—frail and limited. And this year, the stress finally caught up with me. I grew weary, my soul depleted from all the energy I have expended. Add to that my natural disposition to anxiety, and what do we have? Languishing.

Fighting for Joy

The articles I read had a ton of helpful tips for improving my mental state: take a break from work, do the things that spark joy, show gratitude, explore therapy, and spend time with your loved ones.

I was going on leave the following week, so I resolved to do these things, with the hope that I would feel much better afterwards.

But a few days after, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was doing chores. He made me understand that I wasn’t just fighting a mental battle. It was spiritual too: my Enemy, the Devil, was on a mission to steal my joy, hinder my progress, and interrupt my fellowship with God. So, I could not afford to only focus on antidotes stemming from human wisdom.

I had to fight for my joy with the Word of God, reminding myself of God’s character and His precious promises.

John Piper had said as much in the 5th chapter of his book, Desiring God:

“Normal Christian life is a repeated process of restoration and renewal. Our joy is not static. It fluctuates with real life. It is vulnerable to Satan’s attacks… But the Holy Spirit has given us a sword called the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17) for the defense of our joy.”

So, for every emotion that languishing is characterised by, I have found Bible verses to hold on to, which I share below to help anyone in the same predicament.

Mental weakness and fatigue

My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:26

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
    in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
    and with my song I give thanks to him. – Psalm 28:7

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth. – Psalm 121:1-2

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength. – Isaiah 40:28-29

fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10

God, the Lord, is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the deer's;
    he makes me tread on my high places. – Habakkuk 3:19

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Aimlessness

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my eye upon you. – Psalm 32:8

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. – Isaiah 30:21

You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will receive me to glory. – Psalm 73:24

And the Lord will guide you continually
    and satisfy your desire in scorched places
    and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
    like a spring of water,
    whose waters do not fail. – Isaiah 58:11

He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake. – Psalm 23:2-3

The heart of man plans his way,
    but the Lord establishes his steps. – Proverbs 16:9

Joylessness

You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. – Psalm 16:11

And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b

For you shall go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
    shall break forth into singing,
    and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. – Isaiah 55:12

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return
    and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
    they shall obtain gladness and joy,
    and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. – Isaiah 35:10

Those who sow in tears
    shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
    bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
    bringing his sheaves with him. – Psalm 126:5-6

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. – Romans 15:13

Restlessness

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest - Matthew 11:28

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. - John 14:27

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Phil 4:6-7

Another way we fight for joy in our languishing is by crying out to God in humility and faith. Before I even knew the term for my feelings, I would tell the Holy Spirit how I was feeling and ask for His help, stretching out my hands to Him so He can pull me out of the miry clay. The book of Psalms is replete with prayers and cries unto God in low moments of despondency, languishing, and suffering. The Psalmist did this in the very verse that led me down this path of discovery and reflection. Another example is in Psalm 25:16-17:

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
    bring me out of my distresses.

Stand on the promises entrenched in the Word of God in the place of prayer, trusting that your Father hears you and will help you.

Please feel free to share more verses that help you in a low mood.

God’s Work in My Languishing

One of my favourite verses is Romans 8:28 – “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

God is in control of my life, and He is working all things together for good, including my languishing. By “good”, I don’t just mean that He will turn things around and cause me to flourish. No, he is also using this experience to draw me closer to Him and conform me to the image of the Son.

Languishing and all forms of mental health struggles are trials for the believer. And James tells us that God uses trials to strengthen our faith and perfect our character:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing

Languishing feels like my life is at a standstill. But I can see God using this experience to teach me a different kind of stillness: waiting on Him in patience and faith and resting in His sovereignty.

As I wait on Him, I trust His word that says:

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:31

From of old no one has heard
    or perceived by the ear,
no eye has seen a God besides you,
    who acts for those who wait for him. – Isaiah 64:4

I am certain that many believers are in the same shoes. Being able to name what you’re going through is an important step on the journey to wellbeing. I pray this post spurs you to fight for your joy in Christ. He sees you and knows what you’re going through. And He has provided His Word, the Holy Spirit, and other believers to support you through this phase and bring you to a place of strength, vitality, and all-round wellbeing.

It won’t be a one-time battle. Like Piper says, it is a repeated process in our Christian walk. But we are strengthened and helped.

In Christ, we always win.

With love from,

Dunnie

P.S: If you’re also struggling with languishing, anxiety, or other low mental states, and would like to join a support group of believers where we pray for and check in on one another, please shoot me an email at dunnidoxa[at]gmail[dot]com.